Right after the 2024 election, in November, I wrote an article, “Entering the Dark Forest“, where I tried to realistically assess the consequences of a second Trump presidency, with a focus on how it would specifically affect me and the Lunatics Project and our other goals. I tried not to shirk away from the darker possibilities, but also not to panic or overstate the likely harms. I wrote it partly as self-soothing after the electoral disappointment, and partly as a way to help me to calmly prepare for what I’d need to be doing for the next few years.
It seems appropriate to return to the subject a few months after the inauguration to assess how we’re doing, how close I came in what I wrote, what I might have missed, and of course, what the real situation is like for us.
The truth is that I got a lot of it right, but in all honesty, it’s also so much worse than I expected, even though I knew it would be bad.
I was correct that the primary harm for me personally would be psychological: “…watching ‘my’ country betray values, citizens, residents, and allies…” But the magnitude of shame I feel for my country right now is something I seriously underestimated. This stuff is pretty hard to ignore:
- Extrajudicial abductions and disappearances
- Threatening to invade our neighboring allies: Canada, Greenland, Panama
- Abandoning our European allies, particularly Ukraine (this I knew he would do, though)
- Openly promoting ethnic cleansing and genocide in Palestine/Israel (the US position on this was never going to be good, but Trump’s is particularly callous)
- Sending Elon Musk in like a wrecking ball to destroy government agencies, without following any of the legally required processes with DOGE (this is completely illegal — but the law is only meaningful if enforced).
- Blatantly violating laws, Constitution, and court orders
- Turned our “immigration enforcement” apparatus into a modern Gestapo to conduct pogroms against immigrant and minority communities
But the worst part isn’t how badly Trump or his executive branch cronies are behaving. The real horror is the degree to which the legislative branch simply isn’t resisting. I had dared hope that the Republican caucus in Congress would at the very least protect their own power. But they are either completely cowed or completely complicit — and so they are allowing these absolutely tyrannical acts to continue unchecked.
The only check that has been made has come from the Judicial branch, but without some support from the other parts of the US government, the Judicial branch is somewhat toothless: they can make rulings and order compliance, but they have no police or army to enforce their will on the other branches of government. There is also the point that we have a Republican majority on the Supreme Court, sympathetic to Trump’s dictatorial ambitions (the so-called “Unitary Executive” theory, which is nothing short of apologetics for dictatorship). Congress could help there, but it would require some loyalty to the Constitution and to the people for them to do it — and they have not shown much of that.
Even the Democratic caucus is disappointing. They are in the minority, but it’s a razor thin margin in both houses of Congress. Mitch McConnell managed with extreme party discipline to wield a minority in the US Senate almost as if it were the majority and then with an iron fist with even the tiniest majority. We are in this situation at least as much due to McConnell’s skullduggery as of Trump’s or any of his direct associates.
Was it too much to hope that Democrats might manage something similar to hold this administration’s excesses in check? Apparently so, I realized, as I watched Chuck Schumer betray us all by supporting the Republican budget bill (the “Big Beautiful Bill” to supporters and the “MAGA Murder Budget” to sane people who recognize that it will literally kill millions of people).
Now What?
What I have from all of this is a deep, sinking feeling of helplessness.
I was holding off on finishing this article until I could write out something about “what I’m going to do about it”. Some brave, defiant, optimistic plan.
Well, I haven’t got one.
Not that I have no ideas. Just. They all seem inadequate to the task. I will do what I can anyway. “An end to hope perhaps, but not to toil” as Aragorn put it in Tolkien’s “The Two Towers”.
Leaving?
I have no plan to leave the country, mainly because I lack the means. I haven’t held a regular salaried job in 20 years (I have done a few consulting gigs, but not enough), and I’ve reached an age where age is an issue — even if it really shouldn’t be. I walked right into that trap. Can’t really blame anyone but myself for that.
I have put down deep personal/financial roots. We invested in a piece of a land and a house, which, while hardly opulent, is adequate, and above all — completely paid for. I have no rent and no mortgage to pay. Just taxes. This is an enviable position of stability — except of course, for the political chaos. And any sort of direct chaos that might come out of it. Financially, our only support is Rosalyn’s job, which is technically working for the State, as she’s an instructor at a public college. We know the powers currently in ascendance despise education, particularly of minorities and immigrants. And that’s basically the business she is in. So we worry.
But with my work experience unquestionably stale and unpracticed, it would be a very hard thing to get another country to take us as immigrants on any normal basis, and it’s a terrible thing to be a refugee. We have certainly seen that in action around the world.
Fighting?
Well, I’ve been to three “Indivisible” protests, including “No Kings!” day. That was fun, and felt like a useful thing to be a part of. But of course, this is not a direct action that will overturn the fascist regime. It’s just applying some pressure and finding some solidarity. Again — those are valid goals. Just not enough to make real change happen quickly.
I can’t imagine that it would actually be a good idea for me to take up arms, no matter how the 2nd Amendment is interpreted. And if I were, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to post about it on my blog, anyway.
Underground?
This has more potential. I’m already deep into planning my own little self-hosted empire with the “Virtual Studio” project. I’d like to get that properly off the ground, and with some kind of “freemium” model (maybe) to not only pay the bills, but pay me a reasonable if modest salary for maintaining it.
Having prepared for that, it’s a relatively small project to set up another server for the benefit of my local church community. Many of the people in that community are among the groups the current regime is targeting, so they need some kind of place to gather and organize that won’t be subject to corporate or government surveillance. Community hosting is a good way to go for that. I don’t to get too specific, because being hard to trace is a part of the concept. But technically, it’s pretty similar to what I was going to do for business purposes.
Which is complicated enough. Frankly, I need some legal consulting before I can feel safe opening up these projects on my own responsibility. There are requirements for DMCA compliance — which seems like it’s probably a good idea. Although I can’t help but note that DMCA compliance means putting my name on a government list. And that’s a little paranoia-inducing in the current climate, to be honest. At best, I can hope to get lost in a crowd.
Income?
Well, the above does come with at least a business plan, so there might be some income there.
I’m hoping to offer some publication, editing, film making, and other work-for-hire solutions to this plan. Maybe I can turn this into a bit of a lifestyle and earn a little honest income. We’ll see.
And I do plan to go ahead with the release of the “Lunatics!” pilot episode, “No Children in Space” and put it up for sale as a physical DVD-based product as well as a digital download package.
My projects for either project are not strong. I would not be shocked if I actually sell nothing at all. It has happened to me before. I do plan to do more marketing than I have and make a serious go at it. But this all depends on people having money for a low-budget luxury product in a world flooded with “free” content and also extreme economic stress due to the worst fiscal policy I have seen in my life.
I Don’t Know
That’s the conclusion, really. I don’t know what to do. I have ideas which I’m pursuing. But will any of them “save the day”. Not my actions alone, certainly. I’m just going to have to rely on faith that other people are also working, and that it will eventually be enough. But I have to be honest with you: I’m frightened. I’ve never really been afraid of politics before. Not in a personal way. But fascistic police and ICE agents? Government of my own state turned against me? These things are real, and they could turn deadly. Will they come after us in particular? Not yet, probably. But we’re not on the bottom of that list, either. America has been here before — just not in my lifetime. I am afraid not because these things are unprecedented, but because they are very precedented, and it wasn’t nice. I had hoped my country would never again return to those dark times.
But here we are.
